the happy ending

:) After quite an interesting time in Tashkent, I'm back in Georgia; the country of big hearted people who love their traditions and tend to be sexually repressed. Don't get me wrong, they are super nice people, we are simply different.

Last night I was expecting a crisis, so I rented an appt/hotel room, it's nice actually and the bed is comfortable for once. Beds in Georgia are notoriously not comfortable, I don't know why. I mean Madagascar is the 4th poorest country on earth yet their beds are incomparably better than Georgian beds. So.. last night I didn't have a crisis, I had a disappointment however; not fatal but kind of big. One of the purposes of this trip was to teach Georgians how to build more efficient wood stoves; smog from burning wood is a real problem in these mountain valleys and most houses have a wood stove (inefficient as hell, called the Svanetian Stove). Again tradition, you know. Svanetian wood stoves are the best! (not). So today I was supposed to build a rocket stove bbq, which is something I'm really passionate about! It's unfortunately not happening :( when I learned this, I decided to have a nap, it was around 7pm. I woke up at 10pm, really hungry and thought a massage wouldn't hurt.

I found a Pakistani / Indian restaurant just around the corner, it took forever to get the food and I was the witness to their prayer ritual which happened right next to me, 3 of them prayed to Allah. I always wonder what kind of people enjoy that religion after I tried to read the Quran! They seemed sincere in their prayer, that's the important part.

Around this appt/hotel (Urban Apartments 116 / T'bilisi)  there's a bunch of massage places. The first thing I notice when I walk into one is that the girl is half decent, short, fit, nice ass and nice breasts, her face was average. Clearly Georgian, blonde probably early twenties. Her hair is full of oil, she looks like she had a bit of a busy day.

I thought, Hey why not? She says up front : NO SEX. I'm like great, I'm here for a massage after all ;p. And she then summons her co-worker who comes half nakes wearing a towel to explain the situation. I wasn't sure if the co-worker was a man or a woman or transgender, you know some Georgian woman aren't explicitly feminine (they have had hard lives, I don't blame them). Then I was like, what are they using the pretty girl to attract clients then giving them to unattractive workers (in thailand they do that a LOT). No way, I got up, started to leave; both of them got agigated, I told them : but this is a man, I won't want to be massaged by a man. Then the "man" told me in english that the cute one was giving massages, not him. ok ok. I'll stay. And so they explain that it's a body to body contact with a happy ending, I ask "is the massage good". You know the stupidest question in the world, of course it's GOOD. lol. I'm trained in Lomi-Lomi, Shiatsu, Thai, Reiki, Cranio Sacral.. I mean.. I know a thing or two.

So I pay, (I shouldn't pay until after honestly, and only if the massage is really good, it wasn't). She took me to a cubicle, no privacy really, it smelled bad there. Put a towel on the bed which was horrible like all Georgian mattresses, told me to undress. I did, she did too. He breasts were so nice I wasn't sure if they were real or not, but she had bad breath (oops). although I honestly must have smelled like the half ass butter chicken I just ate minutes ago!

And so the "massage" started, it was weak, and no presence in her hands, she quickly started rubbing her tits on my back, which completely lacked passion, I was like oh ok. I told her to focus on the massage, but that tit rubbing IS her massage, anyways at some point I turned around, she sat on me, started rubbing her tits on my chest, ah that's not half bad. I got a bit excited, started touching her, but I wasn't allowed to grab her butt or kiss her in the neck. NO KISSING. ok ok, wtf.

Anyways she got me aroused, started giving me a hand job then her phone started ticking, BING, BING. She picked it up, while continuing the hand job, and started texting. In the distance there was a long conversation between two men, it was loud, there wasn't much light in the room, so the light of her phone shone on her face and upper body as she mecanically executed her task. I went flaccid realllly fast. wtf is this a scene from a distopyan sci-fi film?

In thailand once there was a massage therapist (thai) giving me a thai massage while she texted; look I understand the value of multi-tasking but I'm paying here. Stop that bullshit.

but yeah, I'm too nice and sweet, actually I mean that. I don't want to be anymore. Not only I didn't get the full hour, but the texting while handjob thing, although it was memorable in its own way, didn't do it for me. I turned around and told her to massage my back, but sure enough she switched to titty pretended sensuality. It wasn't good. She asked numerous times if she should finish the handjob, I'm like not really...

after she got tired of titty back frotting she asked me to turn around again, she was dedicated to getting me aroused again, I'm like ok, why not, her body is nice, but sure enough "ding", "ding", back to messaging, i did get aroused.. I'm pretty sure I got her aroused too because she suddenly stopped, stood up, sat next to me and started the great mecanical handjob, and DING, DING, loud conversations around... I just observed her face, her boobs, and let the situation sink in.

It's really representative of our society is evolving. "social" media is occupying the space between our daily interactions, distorting our ability to relate and cannibalizing our actual sense of self worth; while pushing only cake icing (especially Instagram), of all contexts and subjects, in completely random order; which is destroying the ability of people to focus and truly see reality.

so here you have it, she's distracted, glorifying the mecanical abilities of the body to experience pleasure under the glow of her cellphone shining blueish light on her fake tits and passive expression.

I will remember this moment for a long time, not because it was good, but because it's REAL.

Welcome to the 21st century folks, to the connected world.